On a recent plane ride home from Boston, I decided to do something I never do: pay for the in flight television programing. I’m usually too cheap to shell out the seven dollars and some change, but the book about suicide that was I was reading was depressing me, and one of the channels being offered was screening Frozen! So I gave in to the marketing adds being shown, slid my debit card through, and made the purchase.
Sure I’m a little late in the game but I am not a Disnyphile (even though I once worked at the “Happiest Place on Earth”) nor do I have any children so “Frozen” never seemed to peak my cinematic interests. Since I had a few hours to spare on this plane ride, I thought it was a great opportunity to see what little girls all over the world are raving about while singing “Let it go!” I wanted to know what are they letting go of?
A few months ago I met one of the animators who worked on the movie. I was a bit embarrassed when I asked her what the big deal with Frozen was. She told me I had to watch for myself as the movie is proving to be Disney’s best animated film. The Oscar wins alone lay claim to that!
As the movie began I was instantly intoxicated by the music, and wished I was a nine year old who knew the lyrics to sing out loud. And as for the storyline, I must admit I was like “what’s the big deal? Girl has supernatural powers and she gets locked up.” Totally bearing resemblance to the 1970’s Stephen King movie “Carrie”, except no pig’s blood.
What really grabbed my attention was the “sociopath” aka “bad boy” that was written into the story line. “Ana,” the younger sister of” Elsa the Snow Queen” falls in love with Hans (the sociopath aka bad boy). At first we think oh how romantic love at first site.
Big sister Elsa knows better and shuts her little sis’s fairy tale down by telling her “there is no love at first site.” Personally, I just thought Elsa was just being a bitch and is jealous of her little sister. Since it was her coronation day the thunder should belong to her and not shared with her younger sister.
Oh no totally wrong!! Turns out Hans just romances Anna with the intention of taking over the kingdom. Spoiler alert! At first we think Hans is the romantic prince, but excuse me sign number one: Hans is 14 th in line to the crown which spells out no money, and he has to move in with the girls. We learn in the end that Hans has no romantic intentions with Anna but his true intention was to take over the kingdom and rule it as his own!
If it wasn’t for the seat belt on the plane I would have jumped out of me seat and yelled sociopath! Yes I know the character all too well, because I’ve dated many. You can also call them: “bad boys” that’s the other name for them.
According to Huffington Post’s eleven signs you are dating a Sociopath, Hans fits all eleven. As evidenced by:
- Having an oversized ego: yes Han’s indeed exhibited this
- Lying and exhibiting manipulative behavior: check yes
- Lack of empathy: Han could care less about Anna and Elsa he just wanted the kingdom
- Lack of remorse or shame: Hans was all too proud to take over the kingdom, and he let Anna ride away in the snow! What a gentleman!
- Behaving irresponsibly or with extreme impulsivity: yes
- Having few friends: Hans came to the coronation alone! Big red flag!
- Being charming: check!
- Living the pleasure principle: Um, he seemed to do that.
- Showing disregard for societal norms: yup!
- Having intense eyes: Yes!
- Staying eerily calm in intense situations: Yes!!
How did I know Han’s was a Sociopath? For many years I dated this type of “Bad Boy:” men who would woo me off my toes, only to have ulterior motives.
Once upon a time I dated someone who lived in a big home (castle) drove fancy cars, and bought me the world. But there was a price for dating this type of “Prince.” I was never sure what type of business he was in but since we went to catholic elementary school together, I trusted him closing my eyes to all the red flags.
I still remember our first date and how he took me to a fancy restaurant with crisp white tablecloth and crystal wine glasses. All the waiters knew his name. They treated him like royalty indeed. He was a chivalrous gentleman pulling my seat away from the table so I can sit first, ordering for me and even asking if he could butter my bread which I thought was weird. They even made him a special risotto dish that was not on the menu!
We spent the rest of the evening at his house reminiscing over old school days and people we had in common. The courtship was magical.
One day he asked me to move in with him but I had to give up: some friends, some extracurricular activities, my job and most importantly hand over the mortgage to my home! We had only been dating for a few weeks and I was exhilarated with all the glitz he showered on me. But confused as to why our courtship had contingencies. I refused and he stopped speaking to me immediately. Never answering my text messages or my phone calls. I was deeply hurt and thought he actually “Loved” me!
Several weeks later a girlfriend and I were out having drinks at the same restaurant where my “Prince” had taken me for our first date. It was ten o’clock and the bar was closing for the evening. We were asked to pay our tab and leave. As we were getting up from our seats we noticed someone coming into the restaurant asking for service. Even thought the restaurant was closed for the evening the people were seated. I noticed a gentleman pulling a chair forward for a woman to be seated. This gentleman was my Sociopathic “Prince.” As I passed the table to leave our eyes met for a brief second. He looked at me as though I was a stranger, but at least I was not his victim.
And like Anna in frozen I was saved from fake love that the sociopath had to offer and bad intentions of destroying my personal kingdom.
But it just doesn’t happen to the single gals. I was speaking to a guy friend of mine who happens to be gay, who told me a similar story that happened to him. I guess what it all boils down to is having respect for yourself, and your kingdom!
I’m sorry if I spoiled the movie for the few who have not ventured to see it. And I won’t spoil it further by telling you what Elsa “let’s go of!” It’s amazing, captivating and yes educational for the single woman and male. Although, I’m still a romantic and believe in love at first sight, it has to be nurtured with good intentions from both parties. Self- love must be placed first amongst anything! But true love can be found anywhere and not just in a romantic relationships. It is a definite must see!