Advice from #notoriouslysinglegirl:
I’ve been having a problem lately with PEOPLE: Co-workers, people that I happen to meet, just people in general.
I feel that when I tend to meet someone for the first time, I greet them with kindness and pay them respect. For example, I respect my colleagues, former educators, and even the people at Nordstroms.
Unfortunately, that respect does not always come back.
Especially when I’m achieving some pretty amazing stuff in my life.
Instead, I notice that these people tend to give me what tends to feel like an invisible “jab!”
It’s strange, hurtful, and does not make me want to be their friend!
What’s this all about?
Ah …. RESPECT!
It’s one of the themes to my favorite movie trilogy “The Godfather.” In the opening scene it hits you right in the face… POW!
“But now you come to me and you say, ‘Don Corleone, give me Justice.’ But you don’t ask with respect, you don’t offer friendship; you don’t even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter’s to be married and you ask me to do murder — for money”
Don Corleone, 00:05:08
Such a great scene!
Italians are big on respect! If someone, a family member, the mozzarella guy, or even your dog fails to give an Italian respect… It’s over!
One would think that mutual RESPECT should be automatically reciprocated as it is given. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.
Merriam Webster defines RESPECT:
Feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievement
A question that I have for you is: Do you respect yourself? How do you treat yourself in front of others? Are you self deprecating?
People will treat you the way you treat yourself. Are you placing boundaries on your relationship with these pople you have RESPECT for or are you just give give giving until you are dry?
First Rule Of RESPECT
1. Respect yourself: many people thing this is selfisf. But you have no respect for yourself, and you don’t set boundaries causing people to walk all over you, another human being will only treating you the same way you are treating yourself.
As the saying goes: We teach people how to treat us.
Second Rule of Respect
2. Who are these people you are respecting?: Do they truelly deserve your respect. Or is the person a narcissist? Always expecting others to bow down at their feet? In that case don’t expect this person to give you back any respect. They only see themselves as the important one and usually treat those around them like garbage. In this case, move on and don’t take their respect personally. They are living in a convoluted world that only exists in their heads.
Third Rule of Respect
3. Does the person respect themselves? People who can not respect others have no respect for themselves, even if they have achieved great things. Do they insult you at parties? Do they get drunk and become obnoxious children? Do they put you down and tell you “Watch whose toes you are stepping on?” If so, these people do not deserve to be in the presence of any human being…. and clearly need some type of therapy. They must be going through something. But none the less, they should not use you as a punching bag.
Friendships should always be an equal give take!
Best thing to do is not to take anything personally. You don’t need the respect of anyone, only yourself! And in order to live a gratifying life …. we must all stop being people pleasers and just be ourselves!
I hope this answers your question …. But in the mean time try and watch the Godfather… That’s an offer not to be refused!
If you have a question for Notoriouslysinglegirl and would like advice, please email: firstname.lastname@example.org