Fashion, Food, Fun And Dating

Is Your Guy A Knight In Shinning Armour Or Just A Tin Man? 

Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil! 

-Unknown

Disney fairytales and society has messed us up. The “Once Upon A Times” are tattooed on everyone’s brains. We are lead to believe chivalrous   knights in shining armour are meant to “RESCUE” codependent princesses stuck in towers. 

I don’t know about you, but I get guys who “try” to rescue me all the time. Last time I checked, I wasn’t stuck in a tower, I’m not a slave to a step mother and stepsisters, nor have I pricked my finger on a spindle and fallen asleep for eternity. 

I don’t blame these guys. Society has trained them to be these knights in shining armour. Trained them to be rescuers of sorts. Which creates a role confusion. But the days of fire breathing dragons are long gone. 

Women in modern times do everything. Work, go to school, raise children,bring home the bacon, slice it up in a pan, and make it into a gourmet meal. So, what’s the mans role if a woman can do everything? 

I was a firm believer in the “Superwoman” phenomena. I was born during the feminist revolution. My mother is one of those do everything kind of women. And now she’s a caretaker to my elderly father. But as I sit and write this blog, I’m sitting next to her bed at the Kaiser Resort on Sunset Blvd. 

I’m awaiting her official diagnosis, while I’ve already given her my own: Burn Out! She’s depleted and dehydrated because she thinks she’s the energizer bunny. She’s given into feminism and tries to always exhibit her masculine side, which pisses off my dad royally! 

I see it all the time.Women who work in a predominately masculine environment: Doctors, Lawyers, Police officers, have to bring on their masculine side on the job. I get it! Unfortunately, they forget about their feminine side when they go home.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m an old fashioned kind of gal, and yes I like a chivalrous kind of guy. But I hate the ego war that has to happen. If I talk about my writing, my business or my art, and the guy has low self esteem, he starts to one up me. 

        Tin Man Philosophy 

In the movie ” The Wizard Of Oz” Dorothy comes across a tin woodsman who is rusted on the yellow brick road. She helps him out and gives him a bit of oil. He comes back to life. Soon he tells Dorothy that he is looking for a heart to become a real “man!” 

I’m dating this guy, and he told me he’s never felt true love ❤️ 

-A young gal in love

The above quote is from a gal pal I had lunch with recently. It honestly made me sad. My response: seems like the guy is emotionally immature! After all he is 38! 

Although in today’s chaotic crazy society, I’m seeing more and more men with “Tin Man” syndrome: the inability to love.

Many people may have difficulty showing love due to a traumatic event. The trauma could have happened in early childhood, teen relationships or adult relationships. Divorces are tough and often shut down the heart chakra. 

For men in particular, it’s difficult to open up and talk about these traumas. They don’t want to seem weak in the eyes of their princess, so they bury deep. It starts to show up in creepy ways like: anger, depression and withdrawal. 

Narcists can be seen as having tin man syndrome. It’s all about them, they show very little love towards others, and suck you dry of energy. They are energy vampires taking all the love and giving nothing. And they have low self esteem, body image disturbances, addictions depression, and not fun to be around unless you are a mirror. 

     Why is this happening?

In my opinion and from my dating experiences over the last 17 years, below is my hypothesis.

  • Death of the divine feminine: women take up too many masculine qualities. They forget about their feminine side and see it as weak instead of powerful. They give up their nurturing roles and don’t give enough nurturing to the emotionally healthy men who deserve it. 
  • Low Self Esteem: both sides male and female. When a male has low self esteem it reflects poorly on the female. The female works harder to make the male happy. To try and nurture him forgetting about herself. It never works. It only gets worse and leads to mental, verbal and physical abuse. 
  • Giving up free will and personal power: we give away our personal power when we let ourselves be controlled. When someone’s  schedule matters more than yours. When someone’s work and life matters more than yours. When someone lies and we ignore it. If we never call these “someone’s” out on their shit, we’ve lost our free will and personal power. 

What’s a guy or gal to do if you find yourself in this situation? 

  1. Claim your personal power and call the person you are dating on their shit!
  2. Listen to your gut: listen to that tiny voice inside of you that tells you something is wrong. 
  3. Reclaim your divine feminine: if you are in a profession where you have to bring that masculine energy, remember to leave it at work. At home slip in to your divine feminine wear lingerie, perfume, give yourself a bubble bath or massage with sensual oils. 

Life is too short to date an emotionally unhealthy person. If you are dating one, it’s important to stop and take a look at yourself. Check your body. How do you feel dating this person? Are you happy? Or does this person make you feel dried up and depleted like a sour raisin? Have you had any child traumas? If you answered yes to all the questions, professional help with a psychotherapist is the answer. Buy a book on codependency and listen to YouTube videos. Education and self help is the best way to heal yourself and avoid these Tin Men lacking a heart and the true ability to love! ❤

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