Having needs is important to your success
“Women are so needy… glad your not like that!”
-Most Recent Suitor
Oh contrar monfrar… yes I am needy! Yes … I am like that ! I’m human.
On a recent text with a certain male suitor … he exclaimed the above regarding women in general!
Newsflash… we’re all human … we all have needs. I think even a robot has a need to be turned on!
Psychology Today 2015
Author : Marcia Reynolds PysD
Yes…. it’s true… some times that inner little 2 yr old comes out and throws a tantrum when our needs don’t get met!
Personally… I’ve made peace with mine… and when I find her trying to creep around the corner to fight a needy battle … I stop her.. I take a deep breath … and assess the situation with my adult self.
I’ll have to confess… I was recently dating someone. Our dates were short though exhilarating… I found myself feeling really needy at the end of them. And sometimes we didn’t see each other for several weeks!
I questioned my neediness. It felt awkward. Something I hadn’t felt in a long time.
My suitor was sweet and we had open communication. I told him how I felt when our dates ended. He did have compassion for my ” dark side.”
Psychology Today 2015
Yup… my inner Darth Vader was coming out.
And in my heart to heart with my suitor he did open up and let out certain information… aka his inner Darth Vader….If I had known from day 1… I would have never gone out with him!
Yes… that neediness was sparking my intuition: “Hey… this guy is cool.. he’s sweet! He’s a great kisser … he’s smart… he made you bolognase sauce and brought it to you in Tupperware…he makes you laugh…he gave you a consulting gig…he’s into you…you’re into him…But something… something is a bit off!”
I was wanting certain things that at that very moment… he could not give me which sparked my dark side… my inner Darth Vader!
In private I kicked and cried… which felt good to let Darth come out and and stretch his legs.
You can’t make someone give something they can’t. Especially when they’ve been living on the dark side… kinda like that place in stranger things … euw that place!
I made a difficult decision and cut my suitor loose. I told him to take care of his inner Darth Vader. And when he’s killed off his goblins and If I was still Notoriouslysingle … perhaps we’d pick up where we left
True. Had I known about his dark side … and the goblins he was feeding on our first date… I would have missed out on those precious moments we shared together. And a damn good bolognase sauce!
But we are all adults and we must deal with our pesky goblins on our own in order to tame Darth and the dark side…! If we don’t we just create the same characters in the same drama all over again!
It’s difficult to bring in a new person into a relationship when there are hungry goblins lurking in your Forrest waiting to be fed!
Life is too short… and there are 7 billion people on the planet!!
Embrace your inner neediness… and stop feeding your goblins!